#mood & scene from earlier this week
Ummmm.... what happened to the last week? How is it that every day feels like it's at least 30 hours long but also only 5 hours long? How many days have I been trying to faithfully observe self-isolation? Does time even exist? How long will I have to live under layers of stuff during this odd transition of melding three households of stuff into one? Where did the toaster oven end up? Where is that one pair of socks? Who am I? What are all these feelings? When will it be safe again? What will that look like?
Yeah, this last week was an intense one.
Perhaps it's because it feels like life is squeezing in harder than it ever has before. Perhaps it's the fact that I've had to instate a new rule that I am not allowed to read the news after dark and under no circumstances right before bed. Perhaps it's this wonderful upstate rollercoaster weather. Perhaps it's that I felt heartbroken seeing an elderly and clearly vulnerable gentleman with no mask or gloves on in the cereal aisle at Wegmans. Perhaps it's everything all at the same time.
Meanwhile, I know so many others are dealing with big change and loss and heaviness. My heart goes out to the shut-ins and elderly who are living alone, to those who are sick, for whatever reason, to those who were already down on their luck before all of this began, to the brave medical professionals making heartbreaking decisions, to the parents who are trying to work from home and care for their young ones at the same time, to the gig workers and hospitality industry folks who lost their jobs a month ago, to the extroverts, to the folks calling, calling, calling, calling the unemployment phone number to no avail, to those struggling with mental health issues, especially those who were already susceptible, to the folks who are suffering and dying because of the injustices of rampant inequality, and to anyone who has lost a loved one during all of this, no matter the reason.
It's a lot.
It makes a lot of sense to feel overwhelmed. And that's OK.
Feel your feelings. Write down what you're experiencing. Get in your car and cry or scream or sing at the top of your lungs. And most importantly, remember that you're not alone.
If you're feeling overwhelmed and need support, please visit the COVID19 Resources page, and look under the "Mental Health" heading for emotional support resources and phone numbers. It's always OK to reach out for help, because you are awesome and deserve to feel OK again.
Photo credit: Maxwell Harvey-Sampson